My Sister's Guardian Angel
I was born for solely one purpose...to save my sister
Created through IVF so I would be the “perfect match”
Diagnosed with lymphoma when she was two, Big Sis would have died
But then I came into the picture...
And became my sister’s guardian angel
I’m constantly reminded that I’m unconditionally loved and that’s it’s my “choice”
But really it’s not my choice, it never has been
Starting at 14 months, without consent I became...
My sister’s guardian angel
Now I give and I give constantly
I do it because I love my sister
I do it because I love my parents
I do it because I don’t want to break my parents’ heart
But sometimes I wish I had the choice
I have no autonomy
My parents call the shots
Because that is how our healthcare system works
The procedures can be painful but I do it
And always will because I don’t want to fail my parents
But I especially don’t want to fail…
I’m my sister’s guardian angel
It’s my responsibility to save her and this family from a world of hurt and pain
So I keep on giving and giving, but I’m beginning to wonder how much more of myself I have left to give.
*This poem is written from the point of view of a “Savior Sibling” and is a portrayal of what I think would be the thoughts and feelings of a savior sibling who feels as if they have no autonomy. By definition, a “Savior Sibling” is a child created through IVF to save the life of an older sibling with a life threatening medical condition. Keep in mind, every situation with Savior siblings is different and this poem is in no means a reflection of how a child always thinks or feels, it is solely opinion. It was inspired by reading my Sister’s Keeper, the novel by Jodi Picoult and the true story of the Ayala sisters.
1) "Definition of "Saviour Sibling" - English Dictionary." SAVIOUR SIBLING | Definition in the Cambridge English Dictionary.